Yeah, you’ve done it too. Stop lying.

But let me tell you, some of y’all, be pushing back over the dumbest things. I once had a dude start acting funny cause I gave his ass a toothbrush after one of our sleepovers. Yes, a toothbrush. Now, wasn’t nobody trying to lock him down, make him the next Mr. DidyoureallythinkIwasfinnatellyoumylastname. I just was trying to make sure that if he was going to be waking up next to me, breathing all in my face, that said breath was minty fresh. I mean, excuse me for not wanting your funky breath all up in my face in the morning.

Basically, some people just really need to chill the fuck out. Not everybody is trying to cuff you. Just cause they like it, doesn’t mean they’re trying to put a ring on it (I really don’t know what Beyonce was thinking about with them lyrics).

Now, there are some clear-cut signs of stalker-ism that do require the push back in full force, but that’s a blog for another day.

Be safe kids. And remember, hugs not drugs.

But… I’m not complaining, because when love does come around and smack me in the face (figuratively speaking of course, cause Flip’ll come lay the smack down on any man who lays hands on me), then I’m sure it’ll be all that much more special. And to be quite honest… I’m looking forward to it.

Well… that feeling… the feeling of knowing, but not really knowing… I’ve lived with something similar to that for the last 15 years.

I never really knew my Grandpa. I think I have one picture of him and I together from when I was just a baby, but it never bothered me that I didn’t know him. I was used to being away from family seeing as I lived overseas until I was 18. He passed back in 1994 but it wasn’t until I was an adult that I started to learn a little more about him. He was a frivolous with his money, loved to drink, loved to smoke and apparently loved the ladies. And I knew all of this. But I didn’t really know until last night, when I got a call from my Dad. He shared some stories, forwarded me some emails and some pictures, and I was able to really get a feel for this man, my father’s father. And no, my Dad didn’t feel like just sharing some stories just for the heck of it, he was actually contacted by a woman claiming to be his sister. Turns out the claims are true, and he wanted me to know that I have another aunt…

Now, I don’t have any hate towards my Grandfather… not at all. I’m saddened at the situation because I don’t like the choices he made. I really don’t like that he disregarded my Grandmother’s feelings so much and left her with nothing when he died. He promised to make sure that she was taken care of, but because of the choices he made, she was left with nothing. No job, no education, no money. And because she was such a proud woman and didn’t want to burden  anyone, she felt the only thing she could do was take her life. Which she did. And I think that’s what hurts me the most. Actually I know that’s what hurt me the most.

I was only 11 when she passed, just a few months after my Grandfather did. And back then I remember being angry. Angry because she didn’t have to die, it was a choice she made. And I felt that she made it without thinking of how it would affect everyone else. And I was jealous.  I was jealous of my cousins for being able to spend so much time with her, time that I couldn’t spend with her because I lived in Germany. I eventually got over myself and just became sad, and I still get sad to this day whenever I think about her.

To be honest, I’m not even really sure what I’m trying to say here. I guess just trying to clear my head. But I’m glad that this all came to light, and glad that now I really know…

My response:

“Ummm…. I would prefer if you didn’t slice my foot open, young, sexy, Venezuelan doctor², but do what you got to do.”

So, now I’m walking around with my foot bandaged up, unable to put on a decent pair of shoes & it is killing me. I’m sorry, but I am just not a sandal kinda girl. Still, I guess it’s better than having my whole foot fall off. That would really suck.

1. Not the first time I thought I had cancer. When I was about 15 I found a lump in my armpit… turns out it wasn’t armpit cancer, just a bad reaction to the Dove deodorant I was using. Oh, and those lumps I felt in my neck last year, not neck cancer. Just some swollen lymphnodes. I tend to get a lot of weird looks from doctors.

2. Okay, so the young, sexy, Venezuelan part I didn’t actually say out loud, but I should’ve.

The best.

Running out of hot water midway through my post bath shower while I still have conditioner in my hair…

Not so much.

Remembering that I have no towels to dry off with because they’re all in the dryer…

Can it get any worse?

Running buck naked and dripping wet through the house to the laundry room only to realize that I forgot to turn the dryer on…

Yep.

Yes people. This is my life.

Now, I have been looking HIGH and LOW for that perfect home. The one that just screams Victoria… but seeing as that hasn’t happened yet, and I’ve been looking since October, I’ve expanded my search to include homes that just say it very loudly. I mean, I watch a lot of HGTV, as long as it’s got the potential I can spruce it up a bit. Little paint, little love, you know.

But tell me why, the few places I have been interested in have been on the market for 9789 days with no interest and the minute I decide to put in an offer everyone else wants to too. I swear, it’s just like people… nobody wants you till someone else does. So, with that being said, I’m still without that perfect place. My lease is up on March 9, so if I don’t find somewhere soon, you just may see me & Tyson chillin in midtown with the rest of the homeless folks cause I refuse to sign another lease or go month by month.

Pray for me good people.

Her: So, have you still been looking at condoms?
Me: Uh, what?!
Her: Condoms… have you still been looking?
Me: Um…. condos, Ma?
Her: Oh shit. Yeah, condos.
(insert laughter from both sides here)
Me: I’m going to need for you to not ever ask anybody that ever again. Okay.

I love my mother.

But to be honest, I’m not on the prowl anyways. I just happen to be one of the few females who actually can be happy sans-relationship. I’m still young(ish) and I have a lot of plans for myself that a man just might get in the way of. But, should one come along that is not already in a relationship, can actually see over my head, is not into men, can support himself and most importantly not get on my nerves... well, I won’t completely dismiss him either.

But until then, I’m good.

PS. Let me end by saying I am not trying to down Atlanta men, I’m sure not all of you are horizontally challenged. Nor gay. A few of you are probably even single… I just haven’t met you yet.

If I had to watch what I eat all the time and work out 5 days a week I think I’d go crazy. I’d also be failing miserably at it right now. Working a “9-5″ leaves me no interest to cook anything when I get home, so I eat fast food for pretty much every meal. Popeye’s owns me. Seriously. I did manage to get motivated for about 3 days and go to the gym. Since then though…  eh, not so much. I’m hoping the uphill walk from the parking lot to my work building constitutes as enough daily exercise to keep me from becoming a fat ass. Although, I seriously doubt it. Especially considering I only go into the office 3 days a week. The other 2 days all I have to do is roll out of bed and onto my couch. Working from home really is lovely.

So now, while I may not be a supermodel, I am in fact – SUPER!

And I’m out.

But life is good. Work is good. ATL is good.

I wasn’t sure how the transition into the “real world” was going to be, but it hasn’t been bad at all. Plus the fact that I can work from couch makes it even lovelier… and the money don’t hurt either.

I’m loving ATL too, but that’s no surprise. I’ve always enjoyed Atlanta and the abundance of things to do here. Plus the fact that the clubs here are actually clubs is a refreshing change as opposed to frat parties being held in Chili’s or at some Chinese buffet… yeah. I’m glad to finally be able to leave the life of a college student behind.

While this may not be the most interesting update, I believe it serves it’s purpose of letting you know that I am in fact not dead well. Besides, I’ve been promised that some entertainment will be going on in the comments section of this entry…

So, let the entertainment begin.

This whole job searching process wasn’t exactly the groove, so I’m definitely glad that it’s over.  And, after all this I ended up getting two job offers within the same company. Two! Who would’ve thunk it.

I did accept their offer for a position as a Project Specialist and pretty soon I will be on my way to ATL.

I will say that I’m glad it turned out this way.  They say everything happens for a reason, and I believe them. Being able to have these 2 months to rest and relax (read: sit on my ass) instead of jumping right into work is definitely what I needed. Plus, I’m working for whom I believe to be a great company, with great pay and great benefits.

I just hope corporate America is ready for me.

I’m tired of stepping out my door and hearing cows and roosters.

I’m tired of getting stuck behind tractors on the road.

I’m tired of worrying that my house is going to be blown away during a big storm.

I’m tired of living in small town that revolves solely around the university and football.

I’m just tired.

I need to be in a city. A city with high-rise buildings. With clubs that stay open past 2 and aren’t filled with college students. I need to be in a city with options. More than one movie theatre. More than one bowling alley. More than one mall. I need to be in a city filled with diversity.

And if for no other reason, I need to move simply for the fact that my landlord is stalking me.

Lupe Fiasco – Intruder Alert (feat. Sarah Green)

I shop. Online. All the time.

I guess I just needed that little bit of motivation and the other day I got it. But not in a “yeah girl, you definitely could do this” kinda way, more in a “you’re not finna do that, why are you even wasting my time talking to me about it” kinda way. So of course, I had to do it. Not only to prove it to him but to prove it to myself.

So thanks guy. And no, this is not a dedication to you. I’m not even going to acknowledge you. Unless this fails, then you’ll get all the credit.

Check it out. Let me know what you think. Tell all your friends!

1. On campus housing not only comes with free internet connection but it also comes with an endless supply of roaches. Now, I’ve always stayed off campus so I was lucky enough to bypass this luxury, but I’ve known a many who did and while visiting I’ve on more than one occasion turned my head to come face to face with one.

2. Spending all day on the yard socializing instead of going to class can oftentimes lead to very unfortunate tan lines. I learned this the hard way after wearing a shirt with criss-cross straps that led to a very white, very noticeable X on my back for the rest of the summer. Let’s just say it severely cut down my clothing options for awhile after that.

3. Moving closer to a fight to get a better view probably isn’t the best idea. Now, you know you’ve done it too. You’re at a party, someone starts fighting and you just got to get closer to see what’s going on. It seems harmless until get you hit in the head with a stray bottle. Yeah… it happened to me.

Good thing I have a hard head.

4. The rain will stop almost immediately after you get to where you’re going. I’ve always been too stubborn to run out in the rain, plus I always have my handy dandy mini leopard print umbrella on hand if needed, but I like to learn by watching other people. And I’ve learned plenty from watching other students run from building to building in the pouring rain only to have it stop moments after they step foot inside. Maybe it’s just me, but being a few minutes late sounds likes a much better deal than sitting around in wet draws for the remainder of the day.

And lastly…

5. Parking tickets will always be given only a few minutes before you get back to your car. I’ve parked illegally many a times on campus and have the glove compartment full of tickets to prove it, and it never seems to fail that the time stamp on the ticket is always only from a few minutes prior to me getting back to my car. It’s almost as if they know exactly when you’ll be arriving back to your car and time it just so to taunt you.

Stupid parking batches.

As my girls and I were trying to get into my car after leaving the club last night this black Escalade comes flying around the corner, jumps a couple of sidewalks and barriers almost hits a drive-through ATM, swerves and comes flying at us (the scary part) but at the last minute swerves again and jumps another barrier where ends up under this walkway in the parking deck and finally crashes.

It was so crazy to see this live and in person, I wish I could’ve videotaped it, because unless you were actually there seeing it for yourself you wouldn’t really believe it. The really crazy part was only a few minutes before the girl who was also in the car (and whose car it was) was driving but she switched places with the guy so he could drive. So, had she been driving all this wouldn’t have happened. The really messed up part was after it happened, he climbed out the window and just walked off. He didn’t even run, he just calmly walked off like nothing had even happened.

So, for the next few minutes, hours or even days it takes me to iron out all of the kinks you’ll just have to bare with me. Thanks in advance.

And so this post is not completely useless I’ll update you on the job search. It’s looking good, and I think *fingers crossed* that I just might be moving to Atlanta soon.

As always, I’ll keep you posted.

Now don’t get me wrong, my friends and I do have the occasional spurts of carefree fun days when we’ll go to the park and play on the swings like we’re tweens again, but it’s rare.

I miss those days. The good old days.

Well… since I last posted 17 long days ago, a few things have happened… the most significant being that my (favorite) Aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. She found out on October 30th… how’s that for breast cancer awareness. I went through a lot of emotions after hearing the news, but I can’t help but feel ashamed, because after feeling grief and sadness for my Uncle and cousins, I could only feel relieved that it wasn’t my own Mother who was diagnosed. I’m amazed by my own selfishness.

I’ve also had some interesting attempts at communication from a stalker I have. Now, I’m no stranger to stalkers, the count is up to 3 now, as far as I know, levels of scariness varying. This particular stalker, who I’ll call Marcus, because, well… that’s his name is more annoying than anything. He calls me at least twice everyday. I also have texts after texts from him, which I never reply to, they started out innocent enough, but he’s escalated to trying to solicit me for money, telling me how he’ll please me, etc. The texts are kinda offensive, especially if I told you just how much money he was trying to offer me. I’m not for sale, but if I was, I’d be worth much more. He actually should be glad I’m not answering the phone, because if I do, I’ll have a few choice words for him and they won’t be nice.

Stalker aside, I still have not gotten any job offers or callbacks. I traveled to Birmingham Friday for an interview day with a software company up there. It was a long 5 hours, and I’m not feeling to good about it. The day was nice overall, just long. There was a company overview, tour and I had 2 interviews. The interviews were going well but in each one I was asked to get up on the white board and do some work, the first being to draw a database and second I had to write a crazy ‘for statement’. Because of those two tasks I’m feeling a little uneasy about whether or not I’ll be contacted for another interview, but then again I’m not too excited about staying in Alabama either. So I guess it’s all good either way.

We enjoyed meeting you.
We are impressed with your qualifications.
We regret we can not offer you a second round interview.
The decision was difficult.

Now, because I hate to think that it has something to do with my personality or just me in general, I’ll blame it on the fact that I may just be too flashy. I tried to tone down, I really did. I downsized my earrings, cut my nails (gasp), went with a neutral nail polish color (okay, maybe red isn’t neutral but it’s as neutral as it’s going to get over here), bought some boring black shoes, tried to make sure all my tattoos were covered… but I guess it wasn’t enough.

Maybe my suit wasn’t suity enough. But honestly, traditional suits are just fugly to me so until I find one that is halfway decent, it’s just not going to happen. I’m sorry. Maybe the fuschia shirt I wore underneath my jacket threw them off. But I got to throw some color in there somewhere. Maybe my new foot tattoo made an appearance and someone saw. Who knows.

Whatever it was I know it couldn’t have been my personality because, lets face it, I’m the greatest.

So… I’m going to wait to hear from these last two companies before I drag my tired, fabulous ass back out there and start interviewing again. I got my fingers crossed.

If Mary and Sally caught 25 fish, and Mary caught 4 times more than Sally, how many fish did Mary catch?

I got the questions right, but I had to ask buddy to repeat each one about 3 times. I really just wasn’t expecting these types of questions during my interview. Hopefully he didn’t think I was too big of an idiot.

The company I interview with yesterday already got in contact with me to tell me that they were impressed, but unfortunately not interested. I’m disappointed, especially since I thought I did the best with them, but oh well. Nothing to jump in front of a bus over.

Maybe I shouldn’t have spent all these years learning… instead of wasting my time in the library I should’ve been scoping me out a rich husband, lol.

Who would have though at 24, I would become such an old, grumpy lady. I actually called the po-po (yes, I said po-po) Saturday night on my neighbors for partying too loud. They were 4 houses away, I had my TV on and I could still hear them clearly. They were so loud, I actually thought it was my next door neighbors partying until I walked outside and saw they were at the end of the street. So, I went inside, kindly rang up the police and then went and watched out my window to see if they would actually show up. If you couldn’t tell I didn’t have much else to do. The police didn’t show up on my watch, but who knows if they came later.

If you think about though, I kinda did the party-goers a favor, because everyone knows a party ain’t a party until the police show up.

One year ago today, I lost a friend.

While I don’t think of myself as a great writer, I’ve never had as much trouble writing about something as I am now. I start, stop, cry, erase and then start all over again. It’s hard enough remembering Emily without crying but to actually express this in the written word is proving to be much more difficult that I thought it would be.

While I doubt I’ll ever forget Emily, her smile is something I know I’ll remember forever. Still, she was so much more than just a smile. She accomplished so many things in her 23 years. She made history. She touched lives. Mine included. I consider myself very lucky to have known her and to have been able to call her a friend.

“Her tenacity, her passion for life. One of the things that was important to Emily was not the fear of death but the fear of not living.” – Faith Bell

Hence, today is day 1 of my license suspension.

I’m not letting it bother me though. I rarely go anywhere, anyway. It is a bit of a inconvenience with school, not so much during the day because I can take *gasp* the school bus. But I do have an evening lab that I will need to find a ride to, and I have at least 2 group projects which I will be having to meet my group for outside of regular school hours, I’m sure.

I’ve had a few people tell me I should just drive slowly, but with my luck, and my luck ain’t good, I’ll get pulled over for a broken taillight or some other random phenomenon.

Guess my insurance won’t be going down in December anymore.

And, because you know I love to shop & I love nails I decided to get this slightly pricey, but nonetheless dope shirt from NailsDid.

Inspired by the shirt, I decided to pick up my striping brush and start doing nail art again.

PS I don’t really have a lunchbox. More like a debit card, but isn’t it all the same?