I don’t get it… I mean, I know it’s a joyous occasion (well, unless you’re like 12 or so) but do I really need to see the pissy ass stick you just got done urinating on for you to tell me your pregnant? Is it that you don’t think I’ll believe you unless you show me some kind of proof? I really just don’t get it.

Now that I think about it, this  doesn’t just pertain to the womens… a couple of months ago, my male cousin announced his wife’s pregnancy by emailing me a picture of the nasty ass pee stick. REALLY?

So please, ladies & gentlemen, stop that shit. It’s nasty.

I was talking to the homie earlier when I mentioned I needed to go to Walmart.

“For what? Draino?”

Now, he was joking, but you know what… that’s exactly what I was going to get. It really doesn’t make sense the amount of Draino I’ve used this past year having to constantly unclog my drain with all the hair that falls out of my head. Like, really? Why am I not bald. I mean, I’m not complaining. It just baffles me, because not to sound conceited, but I got me a pretty nice head of hair.

And really, I’m greatful, cause the comb-over didn’t work on my 7th grade history teacher, so I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t work on me either. Although, a few years ago, I did have the bright idea of shaving my head and buying beaucoup wigs so I wouldn’t have to worry about doing my hair anymore. Don’t worry, I didn’t follow through. The thought of waking up in the morning next to the boo and having him discover a bald chick didn’t quite appeal to me. I mean, come on Kanye, don’t you think Amber would look much better with some hair on her head.

Don’t ask me what the point of this entry was. I think lack of sleep has finally caught up with me.

At work after we’ve completed a project we have what’s called a Lessons Learned… basically a “this is what the hell our dumbasses did wrong and how to hopefully not do that dumb shit again” session. I’ve found that this concept can also be applied to life.  Here’s my my lessons learned concerning the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

1. Do not sign up for the newspaper if you have no intention of ever reading it no matter how cute the guy who showed up at your doorstep selling subscriptions is. Twice.
2. If you do somehow become suckered into signing up for 3 month subscription (twice) by said cute newspaper subscription guy then refrain from picking newspaper on doorstep up and bringing it into the house. They will not deliver new paper while old paper is still on doorstep – thus keeping you from having pile of unread newspapers inside foyer.
3. Do not give cute newspaper subscription guy permission to call you (if he steals phone number off of subscription paper there’s not much you can do about that). Remember that if he turns out to be crazy which he most likely will… he now has your first name, last name, phone number and address.

Yes, AJC, I have linked you. No, I am not looking for a free subscription in return for this advertising. Please keep your newspapers to yourself – cash donations though… are always welcome.

I just now (like 2 seconds ago, really) realized that today is my one year anniversary of having this blog up. So, umm… whoop whoop, yay for me!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Daddy – even though you’re not going to read this.

I’ve been out of school for almost 2 months now, so my daily activity of doing absolutely nothing has given me a lot of time to ponder my years spent in college and what I learned over said years.

1. On-campus housing not only comes with free internet connection but it also comes with an endless supply of roaches. Now, I’ve always stayed off-campus (Thank you, Flip) so I was lucky enough to bypass this luxury, but I’ve known a many who did and while visiting them, I’ve on more than one occasion come face to face with one. Literally. They ain’t never scared.

2. Spending all day on the yard socializing instead of going to class can oftentimes lead to very unfortunate tan lines (and terrible grades). I learned this the hard way one summer after wearing a shirt with criss-cross straps that led to a very white, very noticeable X on my back for the rest of the summer. Let’s just say it severely cut down my clothing options for awhile after that.

3. Moving closer to a fight to get a better view will most likely get you hit in the head with a bottle. Now, you know you’ve done it too. You’re at a party, someone starts fighting and you just got to get closer to see what’s going on. It seems harmless until get you hit in the head with a stray bottle. Yeah… it happened to me.

Good thing I have a hard head.

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