VICTORIAHASNOSECRET

Taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath while reading my newest Jen Lancaster book…

The best.

Running out of hot water midway through my post bath shower while I still have conditioner in my hair…

Not so much.

Remembering that I have no towels to dry off with because they’re all in the dryer…

Can it get any worse?

Running buck naked and dripping wet through the house to the laundry room only to realize that I forgot to turn the dryer on…

Yep.

Yes people. This is my life.

Okay… so really, I haven’t been looking for a man. The lack of is just an observation that a blind person could make. But, I have been looking for a home. I mean… your girl got a good job (thankful for this everyday) and with as much as I’m paying in rent every month I may as well be paying a mortgage. A lot of people say this, but I really mean it. You do not want to see the check that I have to write every month.

Now, I have been looking HIGH and LOW for that perfect home. The one that just screams Victoria… but seeing as that hasn’t happened yet, and I’ve been looking since October, I’ve expanded my search to include homes that just say it very loudly. I mean, I watch a lot of HGTV, as long as it’s got the potential I can spruce it up a bit. Little paint, little love, you know.

But tell me why, the few places I have been interested in have been on the market for 9789 days with no interest and the minute I decide to put in an offer everyone else wants to too. I swear, it’s just like people… nobody wants you till someone else does. So, with that being said, I’m still without that perfect place. My lease is up on March 9, so if I don’t find somewhere soon, you just may see me & Tyson chillin in midtown with the rest of the homeless folks cause I refuse to sign another lease or go month by month.

Pray for me good people.

At work after we’ve completed a project we have what’s called a Lessons Learned… basically a “this is what the hell our dumbasses did wrong and how to hopefully not do that dumb shit again” session. I’ve found that this concept can also be applied to life.  Here’s my my lessons learned concerning the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

1. Do not sign up for the newspaper if you have no intention of ever reading it no matter how cute the guy who showed up at your doorstep selling subscriptions is. Twice.
2. If you do somehow become suckered into signing up for 3 month subscription (twice) by said cute newspaper subscription guy then refrain from picking newspaper on doorstep up and bringing it into the house. They will not deliver new paper while old paper is still on doorstep – thus keeping you from having pile of unread newspapers inside foyer.
3. Do not give cute newspaper subscription guy permission to call you (if he steals phone number off of subscription paper there’s not much you can do about that). Remember that if he turns out to be crazy which he most likely will… he now has your first name, last name, phone number and address.

Yes, AJC, I have linked you. No, I am not looking for a free subscription in return for this advertising. Please keep your newspapers to yourself – cash donations though… are always welcome.

I don’t speak to my mother often. Not because she wrote some daughter-hating memoir about me causing us to fall out, but because I live in Atlanta and she lives in Seoul. Two different continents… two very different time zones… this tends to make it a little harder to find a good time to call. But when I do finally get to talk to her it’s all comedy from there. One of our latest conversations had her inquiring about my recent real estate search. It went a little something like this:

Her: So, have you still been looking at condoms?
Me: Uh, what?!
Her: Condoms… have you still been looking?
Me: Um…. condos, Ma?
Her: Oh shit. Yeah, condos.
(insert laughter from both sides here)
Me: I’m going to need for you to not ever ask anybody that ever again. Okay.

I love my mother.

I just now (like 2 seconds ago, really) realized that today is my one year anniversary of having this blog up. So, umm… whoop whoop, yay for me!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Daddy – even though you’re not going to read this.

I don’t talk to my parents often, but not because we don’t have a good relationship. On the contrary, my parents and I actually have a great, solid relationship, but when you live in Atlanta and they live in Seoul, finding a good time for an actual phone conversation can prove difficult at times. Still, one thing I can always count on in every conversation is my Mother asking me if I’ve found a boyfriend yet. I’m sure it can’t just be mine, yours must ask you that too… right? I don’t know if she’s disappointed that I’ve been answering this question with the same”No Ma, no boyfriend yet” for the past 4 years or relieved. Although, I’m guessing it’s the former seeing as last night she came back with “Really, not even after moving to this big new city?” I then had to explain to her the logistics of living in Atlanta. Now, I’ve only been a resident since March, but so far I’ve only men I’ve come across have either been too short (now, I’m only 5′5, so if I think they’re short, then that should tell you something), gay or married. None of which, I’m interested in.

But to be honest, I’m not on the prowl anyways. I just happen to be one of the few females who actually can be happy sans-relationship. I’m still young(ish) and I have a lot of plans for myself that a man just might get in the way of. But, should one come along that is not already in a relationship, can actually see over my head, is not into men, can support himself and most importantly not get on my nerves... well, I won’t completely dismiss him either.

But until then, I’m good.

PS. Let me end by saying I am not trying to down Atlanta men, I’m sure not all of you are horizontally challenged. Nor gay. A few of you are probably even single… I just haven’t met you yet.