VICTORIA HAS NO SECRET

It’s been brought to my attention that I write about relationships alot, despite the fact that it’s been many years since I’ve actually been in one. To that, I say “so what.”

Just cause I’m not in one, doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about them, or that I don’t know how I like to be treated when in one or when being courted. And really, everything I write here is from my own point of view. I don’t speak for every women (or even man, whatever) and don’t claim to. Some people agree with me and the others… well, they’re just stupid (that was a joke, laugh).

But surprisingly, I do know a little something. Which brings me to a related topic. Single people are not the devil. It really is okay to ask us for advice and use it. I’ve read more than once that you shouldn’t take relationship advice from a single person. And quite frankly, that’s some bull. Just cause we don’t have a significant other, doesn’t mean we don’t have brains. When you come up to me every other day complaining about how your baby daddy done went and knocked another girl up, doesn’t give you money for your own kid and pretty much treats you like crap, well me telling you to leave him, is pretty genius advice. Yep. AND, if you don’t like the advice someone gives you, then all you have to do is say “thanks, but I think I’ll handle this on my own.” It’s really just that simple.

For the sake of diversity tho, I’ll try to branch out and write on something different next go round. Shoes, perhaps. You can’t go wrong with shoes.

ps. The title quote is via Bill Cosby. I knew I liked that man for a reason.

Now don’t get me wrong. I live for technology. LIVE FOR IT. But sometimes it makes it way too easy to get comfortable with someone and not in a snuggie sense of the word.

I don’t even think some people know how to use the phone anymore. It ‘s all texting and twitter nowadays (and before that facebook and before that myspace). Neither of which I’m against. But twitter does not a date make.

There’s an episode of Samantha Who? (yeah, I hadn’t heard of the show either, it only lasted 2 seasons anyway) where Andrea is so comfortable with her “text message dates” with her guy, that she doesn’t want to go on an actual date with him for fear that that she might say something stupid. Text messaging gives her the option to plan her words out, spell check, erase… that the thought of actually speaking to dude scared her.

Is that the mentality of today? We feel so protected by our technological shield that we’re afraid to come out from behind it?

I know I’m much more in favor of a conversation where both parties actually have to use that thing called a voice and anyone who wants to get near these cookies, well… they better get with it too.

Now tweet that. And remember kids, sharing is caring.

So earlier today I posted the following on twitter:

Just cause someone treats you like a priority, doesn’t mean that you’re not quietly just an option. (my words of wisdom for the day) - @vickysecret 

Now, I was having dinner with a girlfriend the other day and we were talking about her now defunct relationship and how the guy was such a “great” boyfriend. Always surprising her with gifts, trips, paying her so much attention, etc, etc. So, she couldn’t understand when she found out that he had  cheated and had been cheating on her what had happened. I couldn’t help but tell her that he was probably doing all those “great” things to make up for all the bullshit that he was doing on the sly. Yeah, they were together for years, and I mean years, but she was still just an option to him. And he clearly was opting to go elsewhere from time to time. It’s sad, but apparently in this world we live in, this is how a lot of people are thinking. And, I’m not singling out the men, this is the women too.

It’s human nature to try and make up for any pain you may or might cause someone. Shoot, when I was younger, every time Flip would give me a stern talking to, I could pretty much guarentee that he was going to come back shortly with a present, or some ice cream, or some kinda joke to try and make up for it. Even though, I’m pretty sure whatever he was getting on me about was my fault. Like I said… human nature.

Now, I’m not trying to be a cynic, not at all… I’m definitely not saying that just because your boo surprises you with a present or is paying extra attention to you that they’re out they’re slutting it up behind your back. Cause that’s not always the case. There are definitely still a lot of good people out there.