Comments on: Sometimes you got to see things for yourself before you’ll really believe it’s true

By: Sage

Sage — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 16:14:19 +0000

I can honestly see where your frustration and disappointment comes from. I’m glad that you at least got some background and closure. It sure as hell beats wondering about the what if’s and being left in the dark as to why you never got the time to spend with your grandparents.

By: Shanda

Shanda — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:06:28 +0000

*HUG* It’s ok to get emotional over the thought of your grandparents. Its normal. You can always find what you can about your granmother’s childhood, old pictures, anything that use to be her’s and that can help you get to know her and even feel close to her. Her spirit is with you, I’m sure.

By: Scrivs

Scrivs — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:15:38 +0000

My biological grandfather on my mom’s side stopped speaking to my mom because she married a black man. I didn’t know that the man my grandmother was married to wasn’t my biological grandfather till I was about 6 or 7. When I found this out I hate my mom’s dad for his actions. A couple years ago he magically popped up again and I completely ignored him because I had no respect for the guy.

He disregarded his own family for his own selfish reasons. He abandoned the people he should’ve loved because his daughter was happy with someone that he didn’t like. When I think about the pain he caused my mom, my grandma and my uncles I want to beat the living hell out of the guy. My dad had a talk with me once that I need to get over it because the past is the past and he is family. It’s not that I’m over being angry because if I think about what he did long enough I will find myself getting angry again. It’s just that now I simply consider him as a nobody. I do have a real grandfather and that is the guy who is married to my grandmother and who has always been there for us.

Every family has their darkside that we have to bear. We hate it because it makes no sense how someone could hurt the people they should be closest to. These people do not consume us because we have the rest of our family around to keep us up and that is what is important.

Being related by blood only means that you usually get a couple more chances than a stranger and even those chances can run out. Family help each other out, not leave each other out to dry.

It almost seems unfair that we have to suffer with the bad ones and never seem to have enough time with the good ones.

By: Victoria

Victoria — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 14:50:36 +0000

It really was a shock when I first heard about it years ago, last night’s news just made it a reality. I read the emails my new aunt sent my dad, and apparently my grandfather wasn’t around much in her life either, last time she saw him was when she was 6, so she didn’t even know that he had passed (She’s only 29… wtf?!). It almost makes me wonder who was he spending his time with and if he has even more kids, cause he was rarely at home with my grandmother. At least, not that I know of. I do believe he loved her though, and I know she loved him… it’s just a sad situation.

By: Cindy

Cindy — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 14:42:36 +0000

You know its hard when you’re a kid and somewhat secluded to what goes on in your older relatives lives and the you find out the person you know/loved was somewhat different from what you thought even though you had suspicions. I recently found out that my grandfather was cheating on my grandmother with some chick my age… like buying her cars and houses and such… so I definitely know how you feel in regards to ill feelings towards a grandparent… I wouldnt even be surprised if I had aunts/uncles and cousins I don’t know about smh.

By: Victoria

Victoria — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 14:10:42 +0000

Thanks for the comment girl. I’m no longer angry about the situation, and I wasn’t angry for long. I was young then and didn’t understand any of the pain that she was going through, because I didn’t know any of the situation then. Now whenever I think of her it’s just feelings of sadness, knowing that now even though I live so close to where she was living at that I can’t see her. And knowing that she can’t see the woman that I grew up to be. I wish things were different, but I understand why things transpired as they did.

I’m sorry to hear about your aunt. My closest aunt just survived breast cancer and I couldn’t even imagine losing her or anyone else close to me, so feel for you.

By: chanel

chanel — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 14:08:19 +0000

Darn, part of my comment didn’t go thru.

But like I was saying…when you’re betrayed, hurt and disrespected, the pain is unbearable. At least you’re able to see why things happened the way they did when you were younger and you can pray on finding the strength to reconcile and move forward.

By: chanel

chanel — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 14:05:30 +0000

You know, there are so many different reasons as to why people give up on life. And the things about that is, we will never truly know why. The only thing we can do is pray that they are able to keep the strength to move on with their life, without taking it away. We’re (humans) are not built to endure ongoing pain. Emotional pain cuts deeper than physical pain. I’m not trying to justify your grandmother’s decision, but just open a small window to what may have been on her mind. Infidelity is hard to go through.

Diabetes runs in my family and my aunt suffered from it the worse. She had multiple amputations and endured vicious cycles of pain. After about dealing with it for 7 years, she decided she wanted to stop all treatment and go back to Jamaica. To spend her last days back at home. And a year later, she past away. I cried for weeks. Sometimes I still do find myself tearing up when I wear a piece of her jewelry, or see someone who looks like her. But i understood the decision she made. She gave up, but she stated that she prefers to give herself up to God before she goes back under another knife.